Birbla

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  • Hacker News
  • Nothing beats coming home from work, chopping something into pieces, and setting it on fire.
    by mac3n
  • Here's a script to automatically chop wood, if you're so inclined:

        setInterval(_=>{a+=.13;['down','up'].map(e=>$('canvas').dispatchEvent(new PointerEvent('pointer'+e,{clientX:innerWidth*(.2+a%.6),clientY:innerHeight*(.4+a%.2)})))},a=9)
    by sva_
  • "Given the opportunity, players will optimize the fun out of a game."
    by eh8
  • This simulates a person far more skilled than me.

    I never had to adjust the chunk to get it to sit right, the maul hit exactly where I told it to, and it even stacked itself!

    by nZac
  • Never had the maul get stuck in the wood. Never had the wood fly off the splitting stump.
    by bluGill
  • Half the battle is having the right stance so that you don't accidentally embed the axe in your shin.
    by comrade1234
  • I'm honestly having a hard time visualizing the technique some of you guys seem to be using.
    by coderenegade
  • I'm ok that they left that part out.
    by oh_my_goodness
  • The pieces look like they retain the shapes I cut them in when stacked. I started cutting them as pie slices, but then tried a few as parallel chops, and they get stacked in those shapes.

    Also interesting is the shadows of leaves that stay consistent on the scene as the pile grows, but they don't appear on the splitting area itself.

    Lots of engine noise too, I guess that's the ambience in this person's back yard! Probably true for lots of us.

    by yardshop
  • After the first cord or two, the ground around the block should be covered in chips and splinters. That might be easy to add to the sim. Otoh, it's a fun little sim as is.
    by greenbit
  • Nice sim, there's one thing missing though: splitting two sections at the same time. It do this all the time as it can almost double splitting speed when dealing with mid-size logs. Split the log in two halves, making sure to keep the halves close together. Rotate around the splitting block by about 60°, split again hitting both halves at the same time. Do this once more and you've split the log into 6 60° sections, a good size for stacking in the fireplace and also a good section size to be able to light a fire. I split between 5 m³ and 7 m³ of firewood per year which is enough to heat our house and cook our food, have been doing this for about 20 years now so I have some experience. The double-split is a good time saver.
    by hagbard_c
  • I'd upvote you twice for your nickname alone, if I could! All hail Eris! :)
    by wartywhoa23
  • There was this old Piers Anthony short story about a little kid who likes playing with his dad's wood-splitting kit. He's a little kid so he doesn't handle an axe, but he does use adzes, hatchets, I dunno stuff I don't remember now[1]. Anyway he gets kidnapped by aliens and gets to join a great intergalactic wood-splitting competition. I won't ruin it but maybe if you get really good at this simulation you could be next.

    [1] https://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/title.cgi?46184

    by troyvit
  • Haha this is also the plot of The Last Starfighter but with video games. I wonder if the screenwriter was familiar with it.
    by conception
  • If this triggers your interest in IRL firewood splitting it’s a very meditative and satisfying yard job. Also great mild to moderate workout between the splitting and stacking, especially on a crisp Fall afternoon.
    by sklargh
  • Don't listen to this noise; it fucking sucks, it's kinda dangerous, and it's not at all meditative. It's the exact opposite of meditative. My parents made me do it because they certainly didn't want to, because it sucks. I'm so glad I don't have to split firewood ever again.

    If you're looking for a meditative exercise try yoga.

    by astura
  • Taking a few minutes out of the day to to split some logs to hear your house for your family feels incredibly rewarding and satisfying.
    by nickstinemates
  • If you're chopping wood in the Fall, I sure hope it's for next year's winter.
    by PyWoody
  • Good workout and satisfying, I totally agree. I actually really enjoy it.

    But the long term effects on your joints, even if you think you have perfect technique, its better to just get a wood splitter. We can do a whole winters wood in less than a day now, with minimal effort.

    by crimsonnoodle58
  • This reminded me when we I was a kid we had to split the wood for the whole winter and that was actually a huge job all day or few days and way harder than just a moderate workout.

    I hated it then but actually now I miss the time I spend with my father and brother.

    by 1dontnkow_
  • I have a lot of splitting to do right now, and you're welcome to it. I'll only charge a low nominal fee. But let me know before September, because that's when I usually go rent a hydraulic splitter from the local hardware store. Then I spend a very long day splitting so that I can return it the next day.

    I've spent a lot of time splitting with a big maul, but for me it's harder that it looks. I've broken two mauls by striking to far. And even with "soft" wood, I have stacks of green rounds that I couldn't split at all, the maul just bounces off. But I'm glad that you enjoy the process, I'd probably enjoy watching you work.

    by delichon
  • Looks like its coded by someone who has never split firewood. The challenge is not deciding where to split, its executing the split. Like hitting the same gap if it doesn't split, deciding orientation to aoid knots, figuring out how to put it on end if it wasn't cut straight.

    And some of the cuts it allowed me would hit the ax handle on another part, the shock from that damages the ax handle and is painful on the hands.

    And then there's the lifting the stuck block by the axe and hitting it axe side down to finish the split instead of pulling the stuck axe out.

    So the simulation handles none of the challenges of splitting wood.

    by MatthiasWandel
  • FYI Tree Simulator is coded by someone who has never been a tree too.
    by raincole
  • Experienced wood splitter here. All your points are valid. I had to ruin one perfectly good axe handle before I learned how to swing. However, the sim is still a lot of fun.
    by Daub
  • "So the simulation handles none of the challenges of splitting wood."

    Ha ha, that's why we like it.

    by JKCalhoun
  • Well, what about when you get into a piece of apple wood, and as soon as you hit it, carpenter ants boil out of it, all over your chopping block, up the handle of your axe, and you don't even realize 3 or 4 of them got up your pant-legs until suddenly your shins feel like they've been hit with white phosphorous rounds?

    That would be pretty hard to simulate. Guess they had to stop somewhere

    by greenbit
  • Man, don’t ever play Goat Simulator, then. You’ll be all day typing a wall of text about that.
    by mikestew
  • I am shocked that tapping a touchscreen is nothing like splitting wood with an axe.
    by nik282000
  • The "beer drinking simulator" we all had on our phones in 2010 wasn't a very accurate representation of drinking beer either
    by PufPufPuf
  • I swear this forum needs to embrace their inner child more some days. My four year old loved this.

    Well executed fun.

    by bsiverly