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- Hacker News
- Forget emailing strangers, I have a hard time talking to my neighbours.by vaibhavkul
- This is funny but true. I don't think I've spoken to my neighbors in any place I've lived in 10 years other than maybe awkwardly running into each other in the hallway.by Ritewut
- On some level, strangers are easier to connect with than people who are in your life more permanently, like neighbors. Maybe there are fewer expectations and more mutual curiosity. It seems backwards, but for dipping your toe into more personal connection, it is an easier path.by doginasuit
- Have you tried emailing them?
- I think the last time I emailed a stranger when I had no business reason to do so was to thank someone for creating an excellent set of instructions for running OpenBSD on the exact model of laptop I wanted to use. I didn't expect a response and I didn't receive a response. I just thought he should know that something he did helped someone else, and now he knows.by vandahm
- You can email anyone if there's something you need to communicate to them. Since when was it ever a big deal to email someone you don't know?by ayaros
- The big one is the fact that you will likely be ignored by a large host of them. Even with modern spam filters, a lot of unsolicited messages are simply a waste of packets. Odds are, even your useful, inquisitive message will be buried under the more disingenuous messages, especially in an age of LLMs. Trying to get in contact with anyone that already has a large audience can be discouraging.by Shellban
- The last time I cold-emailed someone was back in 2021 when I had issues with uboot. Some software doesn't make it easy to file bug reports, and this one chap was working on the same board I had, so I felt like I had nothing else to lose. Thankfully they were nice, actually knew what the problem was, and had a fix in that same week.by nubinetwork
- Hey, I do this too, and I absolutely love receiving thoughtful e-letters, the few times a year they happen!
Here are my reasons, copied from my site's "Standing Invitation" [0].
> Email me just because (not just for work). Whatever feeds your curiosity; silly, fun, nerdy, serious.
> Why?
> 1. Do unto me what I have done unto others. I habitually cold-email anyone who moves me in some way (joy, insight, utility, mind shift…). I also love to receive such email!
> 2. There is too little unsolicited positive feedback in much of most of our lives. At some point in the fuzzy past, I decided enough was enough. At least someone somewhere ought to feel good sometime for no reason whatsoever. Since that realisation, I have cold-emailed people willy-nilly. See also: Saying Thank You [1], and Days Are Easily Made [2].
> 3. It's always been a delight; no regrets. You should try it too!
> So, let serendipity reign; write away!
[0] https://www.evalapply.org/about.html#standing-invitation
- Email them because most people these days never receive a personal email from another real human being, instead of newsletters, solicitations, marketing, announcements, notifications and spam.by aryehof
- Maybe it's because I'm a negative person, but even when I do keep in touch with people, I can count those I've stayed in long term contact with on one hand.
And the knowledge I can offer others is also limited.
by jdw64 - I receive a dozen or so emails a year from people who read my free sci-fi books. they are generally to say thanks, or to point out spelling errors or something factually incorrect that I have usually fixed. Most are shocked I reply. I guess quite a few also get zapped by my aggressive spam filters, which with the amount of spam I get is going to make it a real problem in the future.by boznz
- I've received a couple of emails about ghidra-delinker-extension, but I would not limit this to only emails. I've also had numerous people contacting me through GitHub issues or Discord messages over the years, with this as a topic starter.
I've had deep technical exchanges with smart people all across the world I would've never met otherwise. I've seen people using my tool for completely insane projects successfully. I've even had a data scientist from India who was inspired and motivated by my story of presenting at ACM 2025 as a hobbyist to put his work out there.
Interacting with all these people has broadened my horizons - literally going halfway across the globe in one instance. All of that happened despite me being an introvert, who hates initiating any form of social interactions with people and sounds like a raving lunatic on my blog.
Maybe I should be the one to send out more emails...
by boricj - I’ve had about 10 emails about things I’ve said or presented on this website. I haven’t replied to all of them, which makes me feel bad because each one of them was a nice little surprise on any random day. I worry that no response makes people feel bad. I just can’t respond sometimes because of the anxiety I struggle with. But gosh do I love hearing from strangers about anything. I bet if I can get more comfortable talking with strangers I’ll really enjoy being old one day.by Waterluvian
- I’m curious to hear about why talking to strangers is troublesome for you? For me maybe when I was younger but these days I just treat everyone like an old friend. What kind of pitfalls do you run into? Just a general sense of anxiety?by antinomicus
- I struggle with interacting with random people, too. I'm alright with writing stuff that is largely impersonal and in public (like here on HN), but there's something about a direct email or a real in-person conversation with someone who I don't know that makes me feel anxious in ways that I don't like.
Maybe it's because I feel like I don't have all the right answers, or that it might be an uphill battle for me in some way, or I'm afraid of making a lasting connection (and the combination of burden and joy that this brings), or I'm instead afraid of missing a connection despite putting effort into it. Perhaps it is all of those things together or something else entirely.
Whatever it is, I know one thing for sure: Inaction has a deterministic outcome.
So when I do nothing, then nothing happens. Nothing is gained, nothing is lost, and nothing is spent.
And maybe that's not an optimal outcome, but it's at least a predictable outcome -- and that alone seems to serve to resolve whatever unwelcome feelings of anxiety I might otherwise experience.
by ssl-3 - Whenever I write something that gets some traction, I get emails. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. One of them is from a guy that tells me "I love your blog, but you got terrible spelling." If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't bother doing a spellcheck before publishing.by foxfired
- I'm always saying it's better to finish on a good note rather than a bad one, "<Insert Bad Things> but <Insert Good Things>" (eg. "You're stupid but I love you" vs "I love you but you're stupid"), but that's the kind of case where it's clearly better to do the reverse. Huh.by tsylba
- I have emailed people based on a YouTube video, podcast episode, blog post, or just browsing a project on GitHub. If their email address is available I see that as permission to contact them for "wholesome" purposes. A few things that come to mind:
1. clarification on something in particular that they have already published
2. engage in genuine discussion about adjacent topics in which their opinion is specifically relevant
3. expressions of appreciation
4. corrections of information to prevent genuine harm or significant frustration for others
My success rate is probably 50-75% but I only do it a few times per year.
Cold-calling to get people try try your new app or answer a survey is rude.
by zenoprax - My senior year of college, I emailed a Danish/Swedish professor (had lived in both countries and published in both languages) about a niche research article he had published that I was unable to find. He not only sent me the article, but mailed a couple copies of his books to me in the US. Sadly, my Scandinavian reading comprehension has plummeted since then and I am unable to read his books anymore, but they sit on my shelf and remind me of that period of my life and my wonderful Nordic Studies professors.by annzabelle
- A low-risk way to dip your toes in is to email a blogger to say that you enjoyed their post or that you found it helpful. The message doesn’t have to have useful information in it, just be sincere. Per OP, often there won’t be a reply but also often it’s much appreciated - particularly by non-mainstream writers.by thombles
- I sometimes get emails and blog comments like this and always love them. One of my favorites was a comment last year, left on a 15 year old post about building my first gaming PC. I love how the comment said it was a "really fantastic build for the time". Something about "for the time" made me feel so retro :Dby drakonka
- Oh I really enjoy it when I get random emails from people that have read my posts and have occasionally mailed maintainers of software projects that it is working perfectly for me. It's always a nice change of pace from bug reports.by MartijnBraam
- I only have my email in my app, no social media or whatever. And received a lot of kind emails from users, issues they found, feature requests.
It is really something and I'm very grateful for their emails.
by lawgimenez - I get dozens of cold emails and LI messages from sales/ recruiting a week. Only about one per year writes "I read your blog and liked your point about xyz." I always take that call. My LI (and HN) profile opens with my blog, so if they did 5 seconds of research they would find it.by runamuck
- I do this often and it is something that everyone not only appreciates but sometimes their favorite email of that day.
Even a simple email like "I really like the design of your website/blog" will make their day.
by karakoram - Whenever a stranger sends me a well-written - even if brief - email, it makes my day.
So every now and then, I spread some joy by sending an email to a complete stranger.
And I always add that I don’t expect a reply, so they don’t feel obligated to respond.
by sixtyj - A woman wrote a glowing review about a book of poetry my late grandfather wrote. After he died and I was combing the internet for references to him, I found her blog & post. I sent her an email sharing the news and to express how nice it was to read her words as I remembered him. She got back to me quickly. Turns out she had met him at some point in her youth through her mother. We ended up trading stories for a few days.by allthetime
- I’ve been on the creator side with 1M+ followers and the amount of times someone has dropped a kind note like that can be counted on one hand. It’s such a breath of fresh air compared to the hate, criticizing and general unpleasantness that is so pervasive when dealing with online communities - even my own.
As a result, I make it a point to send notes to anyone if I’ve enjoyed their work, because I know how much its meant to me, that I hope to pass along those kind, appreciate feelings.