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- Hacker News
- Such a beautiful tribute. You get such a sense of his urgency at really wanting as many as possible to understand how precious and wonderful this woman was to him.by epaga
- I'm making this about me, so feel free to skip past this.
I've been married for 26 years, which means I'd only have 10 more years with my wife, which would take us almost into retirement. That's not near enough. We're meant to have at least another 25-30 to take us deep into our 70s, becoming grandparents and seeing out that whole stage of life.
No guarantees in life, obviously, but there's no way to plan a backup "life partner". Half of the two people with that specific shared life experience is gone, it's an unfillable hole.
by BLKNSLVR - My grandpa had 74 years with grandma until she passed away early this year and even at 99 the feeling of loss is all the same.by Tade0
- What a beautiful tribute.
- It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but, god damn does it still hurt to move through that loss. I'm glad it was fast and painless for her and her family.
- Thank you for the quote. Here is the verse in full…
In Memoriam AHH, Tennyson
I envy not in any moods The captive void of noble rage, The linnet born within the cage, That never knew the summer woods: I envy not the beast that takes His license in the field of time, Unfetter'd by the sense of crime, To whom a conscience never wakes; Nor, what may count itself as blest, The heart that never plighted troth But stagnates in the weeds of sloth; Nor any want-begotten rest. I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it when I sorrow most; Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.by gorgoiler - A very beautiful tribute to her life and memory. My condolences go out to her family.by klustregrif
- > But from that moment on we talked essentially every day for 36 years
Man. Our culture is speed running away from one of the greatest joys you can have in your life (a healthy relationship). Stephen, if you can see this, thank you for opening up. Wishing you comfort and peace.
- I once asked a 93 year old, what the best experience of his life was. He said being married to his wife until she died.
I've never forgotten that.
by tim-projects - It's a profound thing to lose someone that intertwined in your life. I should know.by adamredwoods
- I am sorry for your loss, friend. Be well.by meifun
- I'm sorry to hear that. My deepest sympathies.by keane
- Sorry about such a profound loss.
Maybe you can find some meaning in the fact that it did not happen the otherway around.
by srean - I’ve been a light reader of Stephen Wolfram’s work over the years. I am grateful he’s taken the time to write this tribute. May she rest in peace and condolences to Stephen.
How I considered Stephen coming in to this:
1) he is wonderfully generous with his ideas and knowledge, especially towards the young. I think this is an extremely good quality.
2) he attracts envy from many people, partly because of his successes, but also because of his manner. I feel his manner is often totally unintentional to cause upset, but also I think he’s so unashamedly himself and how he wants to be that it is sometimes verging on rude, which people hold against him (mostly unfairly, sometimes fairly)
3) given his commitment to work I always wondered about how he balanced his personal life amongst all that
What I found very interesting about this letter was how his personal relationship seems to have been in keeping with the man we see on the outside:
1) the first thing in the lists on his wife, as well as what he spends significant time on in the letter, are her intellectual capabilities. He is a man of intellect through and through, and it shows in how he writes of his wife.
2) he mentions how he has failed to collaborate with her for their entire marriage because of their strong wills. It strikes me as somewhat sad that there’s this failure to connect somehow. It might be that a prioritisation of the intellect in life holds us back from virtues.
3) there were moments where he talks about how she was intuitively right and how he had to work things out by taking “the long way”. I just get the feeling that a lot of their relationship was somehow like this - where something obvious to the normal intuition is something to be worked out by the intellect.
4) I think there might be an element of regret in this letter. A regret that perhaps a connection could have been different had one chosen to indulge one’s intellect less. I feel like this moment perhaps made Stephen’s mind pause for a moment on that - an all too human pause.
by m101 - This was really moving and sincere. It made me think of my dad's catastrophic stroke while recovering from brain surgery. I wish that, like Wolfram's wife, he had died instantly on the operating table instead of enduring six years of agony for himself and everyone else.by senderista
- That’s tough. Sorry that you all had to go through that.
- This is a moving tribute. Stephen Wolfram's writing often has certain faults, which I mention only to be able to say that he has here transcended them; this is a genuine and heartfelt piece of writing which makes me feel sad for his loss.by ajb
- Vale Elise.by kreelman
- He is not trying to impress the reader so much as preserve as much of her as he can while the memories are still vividby RataNova
- Yes, it's a very well written, touching tribute and I think it's all the more touching when you're familiar enough with Wolfram's writings to notice the contrast here.by ACS_Solver
- I met Stephen in 2023 at some MIT AI conference. He was the kindest, most grandfatherly person. I was expecting to meet a relatively pontifical person given some of his work, but he was such the opposite that I was completely taken aback. I spent two hours that evening with him and a small group of people talking about language and maths and so on. (He was very kind to let me take a photo: https://postimg.cc/LYmVCs0G)
That conversation had a tremendous impact on me and completely changed my attitude towards meeting new people.
I am heartbroken for him and his family. And I can see that kind / heartfelt / grandfatherly nature throughout this memoriam.
And please, God, let me die with my wife like John Nash did in that NJ Turnpike taxi crash.
by sebmellen - > And please, God, let me die with my wife like John Nash did in that > NJ Turnpike taxi crash.
I feel you. My worst fear in life is surviving my wife of so far 20 years. I hope that we both reach 80 years old and sit next to each other in rocking chairs and let the days pass by.
by meifun - > And please, God, let me die with my wife like John Nash did in that NJ Turnpike taxi crash.
amen brother.
- I will be honest with you, this is my worst nightmare- to die after my wife. Life will be here without her, but it will be without her light.by jvdsf
- An amazingly detailed tribute, you'd have to think this was taken from a journal, in which case it's impressive to keep such a record of their life, or maybe Stephen just has a fantastic memory.
Even through that detail you can really feel how much he loved and admired her.
> Somehow in the shock of what has happened it feels as if I just met Elise, and now she is gone.
A reminder that time's cruelty is making the wonderful feel shorter than the painful.
> My only solace in this tragedy is that the end came instantly, after a day filled with nothing but joy.
Hopefully we're all lucky enough to be allowed to rest without suffering while surrounded by loved ones.
by cube00 - That line about feeling as though they had just met was devastating. Thirty-six years can contain an entire life and still feel impossibly brief once the person is gone.by RataNova
- Thanks for the respectful and kind comment. I cant imagine the feeling one must go through in such times. All it reminds me of is time is precious and nothing is worth fighting over. Spend your time with your love, wether its a person or a thing or idea thats ok but dont spend time away from it if you can help it.
Wish Stephen peace and for her to remain as beautiful in his mind as he's nurtured her, until his own ride arrives at the final station where they will meet once more.
- Stephen has been documenting his life for decades now. He talks about his system here: https://writings.stephenwolfram.com/2019/02/seeking-the-prod...by iammjm