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- Hacker News
- Why is this front page? This is just a strangely framed ambiguous question. Here's more of the same: Will you have spent more of your life sleeping than with your family? Will you have spent more of your life walking than with your family? Will you have spent more of your time working than with your family? Will you have spent more of your time blinking than with your family?by 1970-01-01
- Shouldn’t the title actually be “Will you have spent more of your life AT WORK than with your family”.
For white-collar jobs typically translates to, computer = work.
by alberth - This reminds me of Tim Urban's excellent post The Tail End[1] he wrote a few years ago.
He calculates that when a person reaches age 18, they have spent more than 90% of their in-person parent time. As a parent and a son, that hits pretty hard.
Obviously, YMMV.
by criddell - My dad always used to say I was addicted to screens growing up. I don't think he was far off the mark (nowadays he's as bad as me)
One time, almost all of my hobbies involved computers. I was a coder. A gamer. A writer. A digital artist. A filmmaker. I made fun Photoshop things for friends. I built websites. I did a lot of dtp. I made music with music apps. All of these things involved me staring at a screen for hours, but I don't consider them wasted time.
As I've gotten older and had kids I've tried to dial it down. I don't game anymore. I don't do social media. If I draw, it's usually with the kids on a giant sheet of paper on the floor. I spend a lot of time with my kids and it makes me happy. But even in that, I would have to concede I spend far more of my day and week in front of a screen than talking to humans.
One of the most common regrets on the death bed is "I wish I hadn't worked so hard, I wish I'd spend more time with my family", And while I don't have the benefit of 7 decades of hindsight and any clarity of mind that comes with being near death, it does seem to me like a slightly unrealistic idea, that we simply could have chosen to work fewer hours and spend more time with loved ones.
Most of us work 40 hours a week to pay the bills, and most of us can't afford to cut down that time. And I would guess for most of the people on hn, those 40 hours are spent in front of the computer.
We all have to work, and we can't all just wave a magic wand and step away from the computer and spend time with the kids instead. Otherwise said kids will end up without a roof over their head.
Yes, you probably spend more time in front of a computer than you do talking to your children, but don't beat yourself up about it
by trencedamp - I like computers more than many members of my family, so...by eqmvii
- Don't be so hard on yourself. Yes, valid observation and time to curtail it a bit. But I think the 'stare at a screen' thing is a bit oversimplified. A computer is a medium of connection, mostly to other humans, or at least indirectly to human's work, art, etc.. So it's mostly using a tool for 'connection.' With anything, moderation is good, even moderating the moderation. But you're not staring at a brick. Don't oversimplify it.by bariswheel
- My father spent more time in the office than with his family. My ancestors spent more time in the field than with family. My distant ancestors probably spent significant family time hunting together.
Is there any way to make the profession a family affair again?
by dotancohen - The sentiment is valuable but screens <-> family comparison bleeds too much into the polarization camp for shock value. "Time spent doing X" as opposed to Y will always have shock value. We sleep too much. Too much time reading on the toilet.
My main pushback is solitude. I don't actually want to timemaxx family interaction or any human interaction. I don't want to be the only one on the planet either, we need one another. But a life well-lived includes deep experiences in solitude if you ask me.
EDIT: and another thing! human interaction here focuses entirely on the living and the related. Why? Human connection can span all of humanity. And it should.
by apsurd